thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm going to jail i love you
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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