Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
