Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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