Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Randomize
