just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
