I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone came in the potted fern
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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