I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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