I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
