I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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