I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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