So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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