we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
