just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
