So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
