Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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