I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
