I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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