what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
