Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
