ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
