break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
