Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
