We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
