We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
