he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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