YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
