dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
