My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
