Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
