we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
