Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
