Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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