you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
