She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
