Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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