You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
