Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
