In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
