Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So gin and wine won't be happening again
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
