Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
