I think I died a long time ago.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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