I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
