i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
