If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
