hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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