very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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