hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
