kristin has been a bad kristin
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
