sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
