Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
